Friday, July 10, 2009

life of a wanderer

The goodbyes have begun, and my eyes will moisten again and again as a cab pulls away or a door closes behind me. The people who have shaped my year are departing, one by one.

It's not just a sadness of not having friends around, of good times that can no longer be recreated, though I miss the conversations around the dirty Windlesham kitchen table and the post-class gatherings at the IDS bar. They have shaped not only my year, but my vision - of the past and the now and what is possible in the future.

These friends have invited me to see the world through the window of their past: An anti-establishment youth in a small German village. Living in 'project houses' at a Belgian university, eating communally with friends who care about social justice. Rising at 4 each day to cook for a logging camp in western Canada. Visiting grandparents on a Brazilian farm with pre-dawn breakfast of coffee with hot frothy milk, straight from a cow's udder. Six years in Paris, arriving without the language and emerging as a leading political activist with a vision for social change. A 40-minute bike across London each day to work in the superficial advertising and marketing bubble, and why to leave that life behind. A vivid picture of working as a professional chef.

These stories, and the people they have created, are forever part of my frame of reference, my vision of the possible. My life will be etched in reference to theirs, even after I can no longer call their voices and faces to mind. My challenge will be to emulate their best qualities: their wisdom and vision and humour and compassion, their capacities to listen and to inspire and to question.

And next year in London, I'll do the same. This transient life is disheartening at times - a year in Cape Town, a year in Amherst, a year in Brighton, a year in London, and who knows what next? But the excitement, the constant learning, the moments of euphoria and of feeling so alive, far outweigh the sadness of goodbye. It's a privilege to be doing this. And anyway, I prefer "see you soon."